Andy Antalytics

Campaign Analytics

Certified by Andy Antalytics. I haven’t slept. You’re welcome.

👁️ Page Views

4,209
Spiked during lunch. Soup-related traffic suspected.

📥 Giveaway Downloads

198
Heavily skewed toward users named Jennifer.

🔗 Click-Through Rate

4.7%
Keyword “dog” increases CTR by 37%.

🛒 Purchase Conversions

19
One return: too emotionally intelligent.

📊 Genre Match Confidence™

96%
Includes found family, slow burn, tasteful ghost.

🚪 Bounce Rate

106.2%
Some users bounced before clicking. Advanced technique.

📚 Tropes Detected

7
Dominant: grief-tinged optimism. Recessive: cowboy magic.

🧠 Reader Resonance Index

87
Measures how often readers pause, cry, or stare out the window.
Engagement Sources Pie Chart Giveaway Downloads Bar Chart Top Reader Tropes Radar Chart

“These are just a taste of what I can give you,” says Andy Antalytics. “Level up to see into the soul of commerce.”

🥉 Bronze Package

$29/month. Get a dusty spreadsheet and monthly letter from Andy: "You're doing... something."

🥇 Gold Package

$3,499/month. Real-time reader surveillance. Includes the Tropic Expectation Engine™ and vibes-based recommendations.

💎 Diamond Package

$29,999/month. Includes everything from Gold, plus:

Consult a medical professional before subscribing. May cause narrative omniscience.